S10E17
· 38:32
Good morning, my friend. I hope you're doing well. Doctor Lee Warren here with you on self brain surgery, Saturday. We're gonna do a little self brain surgery today around the idea of what happens when you think your life is going in one trajectory. You've you've worked hard, you've achieved a dream, you've gotten married, you've you've finally got things heading in one direction and you think you know what your life is about.
Dr. Lee Warren:And then some sort of trauma or tragedy or massive thing comes along and your life all of a sudden is on a very different path than the one you thought you were on. It can can lead you to big questions about faith and who God is or whether God is at all, whether he's on your side or against you or even exists. It can leave you filled with doubt. It can shatter your heart. It can make you question everything.
Dr. Lee Warren:Today, we have a special guest, my friend, Mattie Jackson Smith. I was on her Mattie Jackson is also, by the way, the daughter of Denise and Alan Jackson. Allen Jackson, the country music singer. But Mattie's story has nothing to do with being the daughter of a famous country singer. Her story has everything to do with being a human being who finds herself in a situation that's just unspeakably tragic, finds herself with some new labels like widow that she wasn't expecting at a young age of 28, finds herself wondering whether the God that she believed and trusted in would really be there to hold her up in the aftermath of this horrifying situation.
Dr. Lee Warren:And Mattie has written an incredible book called Lemons on Friday, trusting God through my greatest heartbreak. I was on Mattie's podcast a few months ago, and we talked about my book, Hope is the First Dose, because we have some commonalities in our story. And and the big commonality is that we thought our life was about one thing, and then something happened. And we had big questions about what we're gonna do now. Like, we lost our son, Mitch.
Dr. Lee Warren:And what do we do now? And do we really believe what we thought we did? And is God really who he we we thought he was? And is he gonna come through, or are we gonna be devastated forever? And Mattie's story was she's going along as a newlywed and thinks that her life is is finally on the right track, the way she's always dreamed of it being.
Dr. Lee Warren:And all of a sudden, something happens and everything's different now. Maddie's story is beautiful. It's powerful. It's tragic. But you know what?
Dr. Lee Warren:It lands on hope. And the story doesn't end when the book ends. And she's gonna tell us some amazing things that God has done in her life since she tragically lost her husband, Ben, a few years ago. Maddie is so brilliant and so in love with Jesus and has such a great message. She's helping people all over the world with her podcast and with her book Lemons on Friday.
Dr. Lee Warren:And I'm incredibly honored and grateful to bring you the story and the conversation with Mattie Jackson Smith on the podcast today. Remember, friend, you can't change your life until you change your mind, and Mattie's gonna help us get it done. But before we get to her story, I have one question for you. Hey. Are you ready to change your life?
Dr. Lee Warren:If the answer is yes, there's only one rule. You have to change your mind first. And, my friend, there's a place where the neuroscience of how your mind works smashes together with faith and everything starts to make sense. Are you ready to change your life? Well, this is the place, Self Brain Surgery School.
Dr. Lee Warren:I'm doctor Lee Warren, and this is where we go deep into how we're wired, take control of our thinking, and find real hope. This is where we learn to become healthier, feel better, and be happier. This is where we leave the past behind and transform our minds. This is where we start today. Are you ready?
Dr. Lee Warren:This is your podcast. This is your place. This is your time, my friend. Let's get after it. Trem, we're back, and I'm so excited to be having another conversation with my friend, Mattie Jackson Smith.
Dr. Lee Warren:Welcome back to the show, Mattie.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Thanks, Lee. I'm excited to be chatting again and get to meet all of your followers and people.
Dr. Lee Warren:Actually, I said that incorrectly. You've never been on my show. I was on your show. It's welcome back.
Mattie Jackson Smith:The same. Like, the screen looks the
Dr. Lee Warren:same. Looks fine.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Feels just as great. So, yeah, feels feels like second time.
Dr. Lee Warren:We had such a good talk on your show, Enjoy Life, which is a great podcast. You should check it out, friend. I'll put the links in the show Mattie, you've got an incredible story, and you live in Nashville. Right? Nashville area?
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah. I do.
Dr. Lee Warren:Cool. Hey. Before we get started, I wanna get into story and your incredible book, which I love, Lemons on Friday. Say a prayer for us, and let's get after it.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah. I'd love to. Father, thank you for the way that you use every part of our stories. Thank you for the way that you don't waste our pain, and thank you for the way that you bring together, those of us whom you know can support one another, love one another, and ultimately share your glory, with the people in our lives. And so we ask that this conversation does just that, god, that points people to hope, and joy, and endurance and resilience and ultimately just always back to you, and it's in your precious name we pray.
Dr. Lee Warren:Amen. Thank you. Matty, I've given the listeners a little bit of your story, but let's just kind of hear the 30,000 foot view of your story, and then we'll get into your book and and how your life's playing out and some things we can learn from you today. Give us the highlights.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah. Yeah. I'd say the highlights you mentioned, I'm in Nashville. I was born and raised here, and I met and married my husband, Ben, in my twenties, here in Nashville as well and married here, at our parents' home just outside of town. And and it was just, I mean, about as fairy tale as you can get.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Like, not to sound trite, but he just had this magnetic personality and really sort of just, like, god given inherent joy
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:For life and and fervor for life and and was such an easy man to love. And so we had this this beautiful kind of courtship and marriage. And about a year after we married, we went to Florida, to just have a vacation. We were celebrating his birthday as well as both my sisters are all kinda in the same little couple weeks there. And so we went down to Florida where we've we've grown up visiting and, went to celebrate.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And my my dad's a big fisherman, so he's got a boat there. And and we took this beautiful, like, sunset dinner cruise ride and, stopped off at this little, like, tiki bar restaurant we always go to, and it was just such a wonderful night. You know? Like, sunset band dancing the whole shebang. And then, as we go to get back on the boat to leave, there had been a little pop up thunderstorm and so the the boat steps too back up were wet and and ben came over and kind of tried to help us get back up, and his sandal hit the hit the step just so, and he fell back and hit his head pretty hard on the dock, which was concrete.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And, you know, he he definitely knocked him out for a second. But, you know, to us, it it didn't seem to be anything incredibly alarming. It kinda looked like, alright. Like, it's kinda like a high school football thing. Like, you kinda he shook his head and came back to Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And I'm thinking, you know, it's probably a concussion. We might be here a few extra days. And by god's grace, there were 2 off duty EMTs there at the marina as well, and they kinda came over and checked them out and said, you know, this could be a lot more serious than than it looks like you should probably get him to the hospital. So they helped us know where to go because, again, I wasn't home. Didn't really know where to go.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And from there, as you know well, the brain starts to swell and, from that point forward came about a 12 day stent, in the neuro ICU, medically induced coma to try to keep that swelling down, multiple, I can tell you, craniectomies and brain surgeries. And, on 11th day, met with the neurosurgeon and she came back in and and she they had done an MRI, and she said, I am so sorry to tell you this, but, you know, he's had multiple strokes and and he's essentially brain dead and we didn't know because he had been in that coma and so You know from there began not just that immediate sort of battle within myself of what do you do here? Because as you know the options, the options aren't really options. Right? Like, you I have to be the one to decide to end his life as my wife or as his wife because his body is being operated, you know, by machines.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And so the first sort of supernatural and tragic way that I can in retrospect see God answer prayer in this situation was me begging that night back at the hotel like, Lord, don't make me make this choice. Like, if if this is his time and you're not gonna make Ben a miracle as we've prayed for 2 weeks, then you have to do this. Like you have to take him and he did. His heart his heart stopped in the middle of that night and and he passed gosh at 28. We're both 28, 3 weeks before our first anniversary.
Mattie Jackson Smith:So, you know, the trauma of it is as you and probably a lot of your listeners know, feels surreal.
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And then just multiply that on top of the anticipation of we've almost been married a year, and and we have our whole lives ahead of us and all these plans. And and it just it it was Inevicable honestly for a long time. So that was about five and a half years ago, that we lost him and my book that you mentioned Is is my journey through that? Just just as your books are kind of an open looking an open heart of this is what I dealt with as a person who Loves god and believes that he's good and believes that he's sovereign and yet somehow I had to reconcile those two things when my life felt the opposite of good and and that his sovereignty obviously had to play some role at this that I had to figure out. So Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:There's a ton to unpack there. But that's basically, yeah, the the highlight of the last many years of my life and my story in the book and a lot of what
Dr. Lee Warren:I do. Wow. So you're you're living your life. You've got the dream husband and and the new marriage and everything seems to be going great. And I think like we talked about on your show, you know, we had this moment where right before Mitch died, we had this reunion and and our everything seemed to be getting better and and then all of a sudden he was gone.
Dr. Lee Warren:And you've got that almost 1st anniversary, and then this tragic, unforeseeable thing happens. Tell tell us about anger and doubt and and how you felt in your faith and in your spirit in those early days after Ben died.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah. I think, like I said, and you know well, like, there is this sort of surreal component to the beginning of that, you know, and the shock and adrenaline and and everything that happens physically that, you know, I think God wires us that way to protect us. And and when that kind of starts to wear off, you know, after those first few days or weeks or whatever, doubt really was, I think, the first thing that that came rushing in. The the anger part for me was was more limited. It came a little bit later and and I don't say that in a valiant way.
Mattie Jackson Smith:I think it's just how I'm wired. I tend to be, as we've discussed, a really hopeful and optimistic and positive person, and it takes a lot to really make me angry. So what happened first was sort of what I mentioned a minute ago was, man, we we trust you god like this. We're a family that Came together not just because it was a crisis but because you are the foundation of our life and you know, like Carried I carried this bible all around this hospital and we prayed all of these prayers and we sung hymns over his body and we prayed over the staff and and kind of tried to witness in a way to the people in the hospital that, like, this was kinda like like, this sounds ridiculous at this point, but it was kinda like, god, like, we're teeing you up for this miracle moment to, like, change people. You know?
Mattie Jackson Smith:And we really believed that, and and it wasn't. It truly was from a place of sincerity. It was from a place of hope, desperate hope and trust. And and so when those things that that are really all we have in our tool belt to fight with, right, seem to fail or seem to let us down or god seems to not, you know, quote unquote, hit end up or hold up his end of the bargain, there's a huge feeling of disappointment. And and that feeling for me was, how can I trust you again?
Mattie Jackson Smith:You know, like, in so many ways. But especially, Lee, like, for me, the kind of first thing was, how do I trust you in prayer? Like, why do I pray? Because the weird twist in the story, which I referenced in the book was Within about a month or maybe a little less of been passing away a girl that I grew up with, in high school that I played sports with suffered a very similar injury a car accident injury same, you know swelling and the same surgeries and long term, you know coma and all this stuff and and some of us girls that had played basketball together came together to pray for her And I looked at my best friend, Emily, who was there too, like, kind of facilitating it. And I was like, man, you gotta lead this because I don't know if this matters right now.
Mattie Jackson Smith:I mean Yeah. I don't know why we pray for her to heal, like, because it's kind of just gonna happen how it's gonna happen kind of thing. And so that doubt was really the first kind of I think big obstacle that that I had to faith face in terms of my faith and it's just You know, it's just an emotion and a feeling that I wasn't used to and and so that's I think, as you know, again, what grief is is sort of this torrent of feelings that you have to kind of just tackle 1 at a time because they can pop out of nowhere. And so that doubt was big part of You know me grappling with what does it mean to be a believer and to suffer? What does it mean to to trust god and Surrender to him.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah, those things are kind of things you have to hold in 2 separate hands and and and so in addition to just heartbreak and sadness and like disbelief and and confusion. You know? It wasn't some catastrophic injury, and it didn't seem to me like it should have escalated to Yeah. You know, a fatal point, but it did and so sort of part of sort of dealing with that that doubt and confusion and distrust to be honest, of God Came from surrendering and the thing that I talk a lot about in the book is is trading understanding for trust. And Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Is way harder to do than it sounds. Yeah. Like, cute little sentence pulled out of a book. But that was a lot of my fight that 1st year because we think inherently as logical beings, like, if we get a why, you know, if if we get an explanation, if we can understand that that will ease the doubt or anger or heartbreak or or sorrow or whatever, and and I just don't think that's the case. Like, I think at at some point, we have to surrender and and lay those things down and say, I'd rather trust you even though I don't get it.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And That's the battle.
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah, somebody gave us that perspective from job that I wasn't you know, we we didn't know what happened to Mitch. We still don't know what happened to Mitch. Did somebody kill him? Did he kill himself? We don't we don't know.
Dr. Lee Warren:And a pastor said, you know, Job asked why, and God never told him why. God just said who. Like like, you need me. You need, my bigness, my my my omnipotence, my presence, my love. You need me.
Dr. Lee Warren:You don't need to know why, and that's hard to swallow. Right? But how do you progress through that? Like, what what kinds of things did you do? I noticed in your book, you you tell some stories about doing a lot.
Dr. Lee Warren:There's a lot of action. Like, you go to Ben's office and clean out his stuff. You go hunting to recreate some of the things. Like, you're you're you're a doer, and I think did did you find that sort of Tony Robbins thing to be true? Like like, do you wanna feel better, do better, like start doing stuff?
Mattie Jackson Smith:I mean, I I really did. I'm I'm glad that you point that out from the book. That was that was something that was really important to me was to not only, you know, let people into the emotional and and mental and spiritual struggles, that I went through, but also not leave them empty handed because for me, as you said, I am I am a doer. I am an action oriented person, and and for whatever reason I really am am created by God to embrace sort of the do before the be and there's pros and cons to that all over the place, but the pros are, you know, sometimes when you choose and you are able to to take an action, you know, your feelings eventually follow in some way, or at least that was true for me. So when I was able to figure out one of the first stories in the book that, it kinda indicated doing in that way that, honestly, I I thought was kinda silly.
Mattie Jackson Smith:I was gonna cut it out. I was like, no one's gonna care about this. And it's one of the one of the stories that I get the most feedback on was about, my friend, Emily, who came over around Halloween, which at that point was probably, like, 5, 6 weeks after Ben had passed and and just in the throes of not wanting to do anything. I mean, in the throes of real, you know, depression and just saying, hey. Can we go get some pumpkins and stuff For your for your porch?
Mattie Jackson Smith:And I was like, like, it was the last thing I wanted to do. Like, it's still hot here in October. They're heavy. Like, I'm not I have no green thumb. I'm like, these things are just gonna rot, and then I'm gonna have to throw them out along with all these stupid flowers people have sent me that I can't keep alive.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Just had, like, a very resistant negative posture toward that idea. But I love her, and I knew she was trying to love me. And so I went reluctantly, and there was some point through that process. I'm talking, like, this is not profound. Like, I'm at the little elementary school down the street lugging these things in, like, kids' wagons, and I start arranging them on my porch.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And I find myself saying, actually, this would go a lot better here or, like, this little blue one kinda compliments this best. And there was some point where it was like I was temporarily plucked out of this grief and put into this space where I felt creative or alive or in retrospect just kind of like able to control one tiny thing that kind of gave me relief. And so for me, that very insignificant experience became a significant reminder. Like, you you can't unfortunately control a lot of what you're going through right now, but you can control once a day to choose one thing or one person or One action that can be miniscule, you know that can bring a little bit of life or a little bit of energy or a little bit of hope or just a little smile something. You know?
Mattie Jackson Smith:And it has to be really small, but but it sort of taught me that lesson straight out of the gate. Like, the the only thing you have control over is to choose one thing a day that will release something or or pour in a little joy or pour in, you know Anything besides, you know, this doubt and this grief and this heartbreak. So there are a lot of examples through the book. That's a silly one, but I think that the The one of the few things we have agency and especially in grief, you know our little tiny moments of of lightness, you know joy is a big word for the beginning, but but eventually You can get to those moments of joy.
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah. One of the things I think that you you really beautifully addressed is this idea and we came to it with becoming bereaved parents, which is a label that nobody wants to have. You you came to understand that you were a widow, but like like you had this identity that you weren't looking for, didn't want, hadn't identified yourself as, and people started referring to you as as a widow. Like, unpack that when people's roles in their lives change a whole lot, it can be a kind of its own sort of grief when you come to that to see that or feel it for the first time.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Oh, it for sure is. You know, there's there's a whole, I think, chapter kinda dedicated to identity and when people they don't really ask what's your favorite chapter in this sort of book. But, like, what what chapter means the most to you? It's it's often that one because I think a lot of what we don't expect, right, with a loss, typically a death, is that there's huge parts of us that we feel like we lose with it, and that's that's not a small secondary grief. Like, that's a big thing to deal with.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And and for me, I think, you know, with us being so young, it felt it felt even more crippling because it was the truth of it was like this these 11 months may have been it right this may this may have been my only time as a wife or It may have eliminated my chance to be a mom and like all these things that that you're inundated with when your future looks like question marks kind of thing and so So a big part of what I went through was not only grieving those sort of roles that I had lost because I'd lost my my marriage But as you said, grieving this new one that I didn't want. To be honest, I still I still hate the word widow, and I think it's I did it before, but I think now just because it's it's so incredibly unwanted and it felt very permanent
Dr. Lee Warren:to me.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And, I mean, in all reality, it is permanent. I will always be widowed. I mean, I will always have been widowed and and be Ben's widow. And and it just felt like in those early days, it felt like the first and last thing people would always say about me. You know?
Mattie Jackson Smith:Like, it felt like my one capitalized identifier. It felt like everything. You know? And so learning to accept that, you know, was a very long process, and I think what finally led me to, I guess, really accept that term is just to see is to see the purpose that God finally wove into that for me, that even though it is in a way permanent, it it never is going to be, like, the title of my life story. Right?
Mattie Jackson Smith:It really is going to be a chapter, and I I hope to God it's the worst chapter. I can't imagine. I hope there isn't a worse chapter and that's and I still grieve that that it had to be a chapter, you know, but but there's so much of it now that that I have been able to see good in I guess just in relationships with others in community with others and helping others through that same tragedy in that same title that I've seen him redeem it. I still don't
Dr. Lee Warren:want
Mattie Jackson Smith:it, but I've seen him redeem it. And just on sort of to to tag on to that, it it also just reset my kind of understanding of our identities in general, and and this was a big thing for me in that chapter in the book was that I had never I had never really let my identity Christ be the true foundation. Like, that's a phrase we hear a lot. Everybody knows, like, what that means, you know, if you're a believer, your your identity is secured in Christ, like, you are a son or daughter of God and and co heirs with Christ and all these things that scripture assures us that we are, but until I think you go through something that really strips away the other titles That have given you so much value and so much joy. Those are good things But if they become, you know the title of your whole life story in your mind Then you're just you're living on very unstable ground.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And so when all of that fell away it I'm grateful to now, today, even when I have found these amazing new identifiers and titles and roles in my life, you know, praise God, I I now know that I have to keep them secondary to who God says I am because everything is is temporary besides, man, the God of the universe chose you and died for you and and calls you his, and that's the only thing that that really lasts. And everything else is a bonus. That's that's how I feel now, Lee. Like, I've told people, it's like everything else is such an awesome bonus. Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:But it doesn't define who I am.
Dr. Lee Warren:Well, I think the emotional turning point for me in the book and your story is in your counselor's office and you she's got the word acceptance, like, written on the board, right, And you're not ready. And then God gives you this vision and these words, like, was it, heads up, hands off? Is that what it was? Like, talk about that for me. That was so was like I was on the treadmill.
Dr. Lee Warren:I was running. I was like, yeah. Like, heads up. Hands up. Mattie, you got it.
Dr. Lee Warren:Like, tell us about that because I think that lands the plane. Like like, when we go through these massive things and and God finally gives us a vision, and he's like, this is what I need from you, and I'm gonna get you through this and just tell us about that for a minute. Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:It it was like a mic drop moment for sure. I don't think I knew exactly what, you know, he was asking of me in that moment, but I remember feeling, like, almost a physical exhale and, like, physical removal of weight just from that message of let go. Like, the hands off was let go of trying to understand. Let go of trying to control the way that you're gonna grieve. Like, you you can't.
Mattie Jackson Smith:You know? The more that you try to do it well or try to do it in your own strength well, really, the the more this is gonna be a dumpster fire. You know? He's like, you need to let go of it. You need to surrender was was the big word, I think, of my journey through those whole first few years and and the physical action and image, you know, of putting your hands up, of raising the white flag, whatever, was a reminder that I had to visualize when I felt myself white knuckling something.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And that this was the only way you're gonna be free to move forward. And the only way that you're gonna be free to let me heal you in a way that will really last, not you heal yourself by escaping or numbing or staying too busy or whatever, but you have to daily come to me in prayer and say, god, this is the stuff that I'm scared of. This is the stuff that I'm really afraid of. This is the stuff that I'm trying to figure out and manage on my own and I hand it to you because I I trust you. And that's a very difficult thing to do.
Mattie Jackson Smith:It it is a true act of of worship, honestly, when you're that when you're in that much pain and a true act of obedience and and he's just saying like, I'm doing this to set you free. Let go. And so for me, that started sort of being the the the beginning of the day mantra was, like, what do I need to surrender? And and I really would have to physically picture it because kinda like we talked about before, like, if actions precede feelings, like, I didn't feel excited to lay these things down, but I had to to write them down write them down on a paper and then speak them out loud, and that was my way of of taking my hands off. And then the reason you don't feel what helps you not feel out of control when you do that, right, if you take your hands off the steering wheel, you're, for all intents and purposes, pretty out of control.
Mattie Jackson Smith:But if you take if you take your hands off, then you have to look to the person who can steer. Right? Yeah. And that was his message to me was, like, you're hurting yourself more when you're trying to do this your way than if you let go and stop fixating on everything that is a question mark, that is scary, that is very reasonable for you to be worried about Yeah. And want to understand, and you fix your eyes on me.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And it's just it sounds so churchy and simple, and it's it's not simple. It's hard to do. But to me, it's just like I've told people before, it's like we live in a world that's filtered. Right? We're very we're very familiar with the idea of filters.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And when you put on a filter, it doesn't change what's in the picture, but it changes how you see what's in the picture. And when you really keep your head up on the Lord, on his word, on his promises, on the small ways he's been faithful to you in your past that can remind you that he's gonna be faithful again, then the filter changes. Like the filter becomes hopeful and not fearful.
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah. You know?
Mattie Jackson Smith:And the and the filter becomes, okay. You're strong even though I'm a disaster. And and it doesn't change your situation and it doesn't change the picture, but it it really does or it did for me give me a perspective that allowed me to more hopefully go through, you know, 24 hour blocks at a time. And and that's that's what that meant to me. And it I really mean 24 hour blocks at a time.
Mattie Jackson Smith:That's about all you can handle or all I can handle. And and he's faithful in those blocks. You know? My mercies are new every morning. Like, I take that literally because that's literally what he did for me.
Dr. Lee Warren:So beautiful. I I love it doesn't read like somebody's first book. I mean, you really have have given us a gift, and anybody who's listening who's grieving or hurting or you know somebody or love somebody who's been through something really hard, Mattie's book is an incredible resource, and it's it's one of the better maybe maybe the best, grief resource that I can think of. It's really powerful and get a lovely job, honored your husband, honored the Lord. And I'm so grateful that you shared it.
Dr. Lee Warren:Again, maybe 3 minutes left, and I'm so much more of your story that I wanna ask you about.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Sorry. I get excited and long winded.
Dr. Lee Warren:I mean, it's It's awesome. We had a late start because we had internet gremlins today, so we missed about 15 minutes of our time. But listen, one thing is your book ends with you finding your way back, landing on your feet, your faith holds you up, like, but I'm not ruining the end of the story, but but you you land strongly. But that's not where your story ends. So in in a quick minute here, tell us the rest of your story and what God's done in your life since the book.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Yeah. So the book came out about a little over 3 years ago and, since then, have met, this amazing man through mutual friends here and, remarried
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:May of last year, and we are actually expecting a baby in June.
Dr. Lee Warren:So Congratulations. What
Mattie Jackson Smith:yeah. Thank you. It feels wild. I said before we started recording, it's like sometimes I look at at this crazy redemption story, which is all it feels like redemption after redemption.
Dr. Lee Warren:Yeah.
Mattie Jackson Smith:And feel like I've almost been a witness to it. Like, it it it is a testament to the creative God that we have. Like, he doesn't do the same thing twice. He really he makes all things new. He creates from dust.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Like, it just it's been amazing to witness. And and to go back to kinda my, you know, podcast of joy, it's like when you as you know, when you go through the worst sorrow, it's like your well for joy is so much deeper. So even to just go through a wedding itself the second time, man, like, your capacity and attention to joy is so much greater and that's that's one of the treasures, you know, of of enduring all this is all your emotions, you know, all your emotional muscles strengthen together. So it's it's been an incredible few years, and and I'm just so grateful to be able to share both parts of of that story.
Dr. Lee Warren:Just congratulations, and it's so wonderful to see how your faithfulness has been met and even exceeded by God's faithfulness to you. And and, it's an honor. It's a it's a real privilege to be your friend and and to have a chance to share your story with the listeners out there. Listen, somebody that's listening to this, Mattie, is is in the early days of this thing that's happened. Somebody just got the news.
Dr. Lee Warren:The diagnosis just came back. You you know, they're in that moment. What do you say to them? Like like, what what do you do right now when the when the wound is fresh? What do you have to say?
Mattie Jackson Smith:I would say, like I mentioned before, I always say, just just look at 24 hours. You know, look at 24 hours. Like, you can survive this day and you can make one single choice, minute choice, to bring a tiny bit of joy or hope or lightness or a smile or a laugh into this day. And and I think when when we take that approach, you know, for me, it became it became less overwhelming because I knew I could do 24 hours, you know, 6 to 8 of which I was sleeping. And then and then the the other thing is just, like, do not do this alone.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Do not think that it is valiant or noble to try to carry all this on your own shoulders. Jesus tells us not to do that. I think I can speak for you, Lee. We're telling you not to do that. You are not a burden to the people who love you.
Mattie Jackson Smith:If the roles were reversed, you would long to help to carry a little bit of the weight. Like, you're allowing them to love you when you let them help you, whatever that looks like. Yeah.
Dr. Lee Warren:That's right. Beautiful. My friend, thank you so much. We're gonna we're gonna encourage a lot of people around the world with your words and with your book and just appreciate it. God bless you and your family and and the new baby.
Mattie Jackson Smith:Thank you. Thank you, Lee, so much. Same to you. We'll have to get round 2 for both podcasts.
Dr. Lee Warren:We need to. We got more to tell, I think. So God bless you, Mattie. Thank you so much.
Mattie Jackson Smith:You too.
Dr. Lee Warren:What a great conversation. I'm so inspired by Mattie's faith and her story. She's brilliant. And her podcast, by the way, is incredibly encouraging. I put links in the show notes to her podcast, including the episode that I was on.
Dr. Lee Warren:We had a great talk about neuroscience and faith and doubt and hope and and all of that. And we just had a great time. Mattie is one of my favorite people in the grief and hope and faith space. Her book, Lemons on Friday, will encourage you. If you've been through something hard, trauma or tragedy, some kind of massive thing, Mattie's story will encourage you.
Dr. Lee Warren:And I love the way that God put her back together and redeemed her faith and and landed her solidly on her faith and on her feet so that she knows what she needs when life gets hard. And then he brought love back into her life. And then he made her ready to be a mother and a wife. And and I love how he he built and recovered and operated on her before he finished her story. And it's just so inspiring, and we look forward to talking to Mattie again on the podcast in the future.
Dr. Lee Warren:She has a lot more to say. We had some sort of Internet demon that cost us about 15 minutes, and I had to go on Susie Larson Show live, right at the end of our talk there. So we kinda had to wrap it up. So we'll definitely have Mattie back on the show. Listen, if you're hurting, if you need help or hope or you know somebody who does, Mattie's podcast, Enjoy Life, is great resource for you.
Dr. Lee Warren:And her book, Lemons on Friday, I can't recommend it highly enough. One of my favorite books ever in the grief space. And she will give you some hope and some help to find your feet and your faith again. Mattie Jackson, what a great talk. Hope you enjoyed it.
Dr. Lee Warren:Hope it was helpful for you. Remember, friend, you can't change your life until you change your mind. But Mattie's story reminds us that we can always start today. Hey. Thanks for listening.
Dr. Lee Warren:The doctor Lee Warren podcast is brought to you by my brand new book, Hope is the First Dose. It's a treatment plan for recovering from trauma, tragedy, and other massive things. It's available everywhere books are sold, and I narrated the audiobooks. Hey. The theme music for the show is Get Up by my friend Tommy Walker, available for free at tommywalkerministries.org.
Dr. Lee Warren:They are supplying worship resources for worshipers all over the world to worship the most high god. And if you're interested in learning more, check out tommywalkerministries.org. If you need prayer, go to the prayer wall at wleewarrenmd.com/ prayer. Wleawarrenmd.com/ prayer. And go to my website and sign up for the newsletter, self brain surgery, every Sunday since 2014, helping people in all 50 states and 60 plus countries around the world.
Dr. Lee Warren:I'm doctor Lee Warren, and I'll talk to you soon. Remember, friend, you can't change your life until you change your mind. And the good news is you can start today.
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