The Hope Rope (with transcript)

Good morning, my friend. I hope you're doing well. It is Friday morning, 28 July 2023.

We are at the end of the second week of The Life of Hope is the First Dose.

Today, I had a new episode planned out for you, but Harvey and Lewis decided

for the second day in a row that they needed to wake up at 3 .30 in the morning.

So, we got Harvey and Lewis sleeping over here and it's not going to happen.

So we've got a plan for you to have a brand new full -length,

super hopeful episode tomorrow.

But today I'm going to give you something back, just because I don't want you

to have to contend with Harvey and Lewis making all kinds of rackets.

So we are going to bring you back infinitely happier 11, which is all about the power of waiting.

Now you and I have talked recently, if you've been on the podcast recently,

we talked about these Hebrew words in the Old Testament that show up that are

translated as hope frequently and verses that are sometimes translated as weight.

And it turns out to be the same word, Isaiah 40, that those who wait upon the

Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up on wings like eagles,

they will run and not go weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

That wait on the Lord idea.

And that wait is this word kava. And kava has this connotation of holding on

to a rope that's tight and it's stretched out tightly and somehow that rope

is not going to break and you're not going to fall.

You're going to be pulled forward towards something more solid.

That's this tension in the waiting between the now and if you're suffering in

this struggle of something that you really need or want or you're fighting against

a diagnosis or a problem or some other massive thing,

it can sometimes feel like you're just plunging backwards, you're falling into

this pit of despair, the furnace of suffering,

and all of that, and this hope idea all through the Bible gives us this connotation

that there is something solid and tight that we can hold on to that won't let us fall.

And that's the verb I want to give you today. Hope is a verb.

It's an action where you have to pull on it, hold on it, fight for it,

move towards it, and it's always there. It's reproducible.

And if you want to become healthier and feel better and be happier,

you've got to learn how to hold on to the rope of hope.

I didn't mean for that to rhyme. The hope rope.

Listen, I want to remind you we have some great merchandise available now.

Some self -brain surgery t -shirts. Hope is the first dose.

You start today. You can't change your life until you change your mind.

You can get t -shirts and hats and coffee cups and journals and all kinds of cool stuff at.

Wlewarrenmd .com slash store, S -T -O -R -E, wlewarrenmd .com slash store if

you wanna wear some Hope gear to help other people find out about the podcast

or to share their message about the book.

We have some unbelievable guests coming up on the podcast soon,

and I'm gonna get out of your hair.

We've gotten through this introduction without Harvey and Louis making any racket,

so good for you and good for me, and I hope that you have an incredible Friday.

We'll be back with something new for you tomorrow, and for now,

I'm gonna give you infinitely happier 11 which is

all about the power of waiting and two songs in that

episode that are gonna be helpful to you and I

just think that you need a little dose of how

to wait because wait turns out to be one of the key

components of hope and friend you remember I'm always telling you you can't

change your life until you change your mind and the good news is sometimes you

have to wait for it but you can always start today good morning my friend I

hope you're doing well it is

a beautiful morning here in Nebraska it's incredibly calm and still day.

We've seen some deer feeding across the river this morning. Today I want to

talk about another idea in this concept of self -brain surgery that's aimed

at the goal of becoming infinitely happier.

We've had some great conversations over the previous 10 episodes in this series

infinitely happier which of course is built around this book that I'm tinkering

with and hope to have it be my next major publication.

This podcast series is sort of the experiment, sort of the lab in which we're

coming across with these ideas.

And today, another idea in the process of learning to become infinitely happier

is about the power of waiting.

Today I want to talk about the amazing power of learning how to wait.

Remember our theme verse for the infinitely happier series here is Proverbs

17 27 and 28 in the passion translation.

Can you bridle your tongue when your heart is under pressure?

That's how you show that you're wise and understanding heart keeps you cool

calm and collected No matter what you're facing and that my friend is one of

the secrets to becoming infinitely happier Not only bridling your tongue But

that's sort of just a metaphor for your mind.

If you learn how to put a bridle on your desires, on what you think are your

needs or your wants, if you learn how to put a bridle on what you say,

how to think, how you can control what you think about and how therefore how you behave.

Then you can control your life.

The person in control of their mind is in control of their life,

no matter what your circumstances are. And that's one of the secrets to becoming

really, truly, infinitely happier.

And that's what I want for you, my friend. The world's a hard place, Jesus said it.

In this world you will have trouble, but take heart.

I've overcome the world. And he also said, in John chapter 10,

I've come here that you might have an abundant, full, happy life. That's why we're here.

We're here not only to hopefully find our salvation and get to heaven someday,

but also to enjoy this beautiful, amazing place that God made for us to live.

And so today, I want to talk about one of the superpowers in becoming infinitely

happier, and that is learning how to wait.

Proverbs 13, 12 says, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire

comes, it is a tree of life. We're gonna unpack that in a little bit.

We're gonna learn about the amazing power of waiting, and it seems a little

bit ironic when I'm talking about learning how to wait, but we're going to talk

about that starting today.

Hey, are you ready to change your life? If the answer is yes,

there's only one rule. You have to change your mind first.

And my friend, there's a place where the neuroscience of how your mind works

smashes together with faith and everything starts to make sense.

That place is called self -brain surgery. You can learn it, and it will help

you become healthier, feel better, and be happier.

And the good news is, you can start today.

Thanks Lisa. Hey, so glad to have you listening today. I'm Dr.

Lee Warren and I live in Nebraska in the United States of America with my incredible

wife Lisa, my father -in -law Tata, and the super pups Harvey and Louis.

I'm a neurosurgeon and an author and I'm here to help you harness neuroscience,

the power of your brain, faith, the power of your spirit, and good old common

sense to help you lead a healthier, better, happier life.

Listen friend, you can't change your life until you change your mind and I'm

here to help you learn the art of self -brain surgery to get it done. If you'd like the show.

Please subscribe so you never miss an episode and tell your friends about it.

If you tell two or three friends this podcast was helpful to you,

imagine how much good we can all do around the world together.

I'm Dr. Lee Warren and I'm here to help you change your mind so you can change

your life. Let's get after it.

I've been drilling into the idea of learning some technique,

sorry about the metaphor, the pun there, drilling into our own heads.

After we've been talking about this for several weeks, but we're learning how

to identify strategies to attack the things that have been holding us back in

our lives, the things that are constantly hindering us and keeping us from achieving

this goal of becoming infinitely happier.

And sometimes it seems like there's so many places in which we're struggling

that we don't know where to start.

And like I've told you several times now, my dad always talked about how you eat an elephant.

Eating an elephant sounds like an impossible task, but if you want to get it

done you got to do one bite at a time.

And so today the bite we're taking is to learn how to wait for something that

we need even if it means not immediately getting something that we might want in the short term.

We have an on -demand culture right now. You think about it for the first time in human history.

You can just about imagine anything that you want and you can click a few buttons and you can have it,

Some cities the same day other cities most places now the next day and even

in the motor parts of the Country or the world you can have it within a few

days So for the first time in human history,

we just about can have anything that we want at any time But I'd like to ask

you you look at the news and you pay attention and you check your own heart

Is that ability to have everything that we want anytime we want in any way that

we want has that made us happier as a?

Society has it made you happier as an individual to be.

Able to write clear to single -click and order That new pair of shoes or that

new car that new thing and have it be in your driveway or in your house 24 hours

later has that really made you happier or is it just freed up your schedule

a little bit so you don't have to shop as much so that you have more time then

to worry about all the other stuff that you have to worry about in your life?

Has it made you happier to participate in this on -demand culture?

Now let me read you that scripture again Proverbs 13 12, hope deferred makes the heart sick.

What does he mean by that? You think about the idea when you really want something

you just burn a hole in your brain you're you're you're falling in love and

you want that girl or you want that guy or you really really really want that

new car or you really really really need that new thing, it can drive you nuts, right?

That thing that you want starts to get in your brain and it's all you can think

about and the pressure builds for you to have that thing.

Or sometimes it's not a thing that you want, it's a thing that you want to do.

You've had a really really stressful day and you would like nothing more than

to take the edge off with a glass of wine or pill that you like to take when

you need something or internet site that you ought not to go to but it helps

you take your mind off the thing that you're not wanting to think about.

You're using a surrogate to clear your brain in some way or make you stop thinking

about something and so you do something that you want.

So you don't have to think about or feel the thing that you don't want in that

moment. Well, the second, the back half of that scripture, let me read the first half again.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. So we're talking about that sick feeling,

that hard feeling when you want something or need or think you need something.

Second half of the verse though, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

So when you're really, really wanting something and you wait and you finally

get it, it makes you feel better, right? At least in the short term. That's the verse.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes,

it's a tree of life. I would submit to you, this is not talking about short

-term wish fulfillment.

This is not talking about satisfying your immediate urges.

This is talking about when you wait and when you find patience and you let God

direct you to waiting until it's

the right time to do something or have something, it's a tree of life.

It creates freedom and true happiness and peace in your life when you learn how to wait.

Here's a powerful truth for you, friend. And if you can't learn to avoid something

that you want right now so that you can have something you really need later,

then you'll never be free.

You will never be free. I've heard it said a different way, another way it's

been said. Don't give up what you want the most for what you want right now.

Apply this to your finances. Think about this.

If you don't learn how to avoid spending money right now on something that you

think you want, then you will never actually have all the money for the things that you need.

And ironically, financial freedom comes from a long series of denying yourself

over short -term spending so that you end up with long -term wealth which then

enables you to have anything you want.

So if you can learn how to discipline yourself financially in the short -term,

then you can have really unbridled financial freedom in the long -term.

So it's a little bit ironic that it seems like you narrow your focus now because

you expanded ability and broader focus later, but it's true.

Think about it in terms of addiction.

If you don't learn how to stop giving yourself that short -term edge or taking

the edge off with a substance or a pill or an alcohol or whatever,

if you don't learn how to stop checking the pornography, if you don't learn

how to stop doing the thing that you're addicted to, then you'll never be free

of it and able to really have the true thing that's underneath that.

Like if you're using alcohol or pills, hydrocodone or something,

to relieve your pain in the short term, it always ends up creating more pain in the long term.

But if you learn how to manage that pain in a healthier way,

then you can feel the things that you really need to feel in your life to learn how to be happy.

Because you're not numb or hungover or feeling bad or paying a penalty of the

tomorrow tax for what you do the next day.

And relationships. If you learn how not to have that quick thing,

that short -term hookup, that one -night stand, if you learn how not to have

those cheap relationships, then you can really find true,

what you're really looking for, which is true companionship,

true friendship, true intimacy with a person for a long period of time.

It's easy, men especially, it's easy to get somebody to want you right now.

It's hard to get somebody to love you for the rest of your life,

and that's where the true reward is, is in learning how to wait and find that

one person that you really can be with forever who knows you intimately and still loves you,

who knows all your secrets and all your dark spots and all your failures and

they still want to be with you.

That's the true thing that you're seeking in a relationship,

so if you learn how to avoid that short -term thing, then you'll be able to

find that long -term real goal that you're looking for.

There's an author named James Clear that wrote a book called Atomic Habits.

Great book and I can't recommend it highly enough. But James Clear wrote this,

the paradox of freedom, the way to expand your freedom is to narrow your focus.

Stay focused on saving to achieve financial freedom.

Stay focused on training to achieve physical freedom. Stay focused on learning

to achieve intellectual freedom because the disciplined become the free.

So I'm telling you this quote because it ties into this idea of waiting.

If you're saving, you're not spending.

So you're not clicking that thing on Amazon that you wanna buy right now so

that you can buy true financial freedom the next day by saving and investing

and growing your finances and becoming financially independent.

You're going to stay focused on physical training. You're gonna work out instead

of eating that extra thing the night before that you felt like eating.

You're gonna wait so you feel better the next morning and you can actually get

up and work out and you'll gain that confidence of winning the morning so that you can win the day.

If you stay focused on learning instead of playing video

games the night before you actually get a good night's sleep and study

harder the next day You'll do better in school that'll feed on itself and you'll

get a better job or you'll get a better residency or you'll get a better graduate

school post and you'll end up being better off because you delayed that short

-term gratification and you Bought into the idea that you were investing in your own future,

the disciplined my friend and become the free, the people that can defer hope,

even though it makes you sick or makes your heart hurt a little bit right now,

you get a tree of life later.

You get the great expanse of wild freedom of your life being what it should

be, what it's meant to be, what God intended for it to be.

Remember Proverbs 17, 27 and 28.

Can you brattle your tongue when your heart is under pressure?

That's how you show that you're wise and understanding heart keeps you cool,

calm, and collected no matter what you're facing.

Listen friend, learning how to bridle those short -term wants is what gives

you the freedom to have what you really want, to what you really need later.

If you can't learn how to say no to something you want right now in exchange

for something you need tomorrow, you will never be free.

The discipline to become the free, my friend, that's one of the secrets of becoming

infinitely happier is learning how to wait for what you really want, what you really need,

by disciplining yourself enough to say no to something that you think you want right now.

And if you can do that, you can become infinitely happier.

This is self brain surgery, changing how you think about the moment that you're

in, and making yourself think about the next moment, the next day,

the next month, the next year.

That is how you unlock this thing, and get out of this cycle of instant gratification,

and turn it into the wisdom of delayed gratification.

It's self brain surgery, it's biblical, it's consistent with neuroscience,

and it's really good self care, and it'll help you, but you have to start today.

Hey, thanks for listening.

Please subscribe to the show so you automatically get every episode.

And if you like the show, you'll love my weekly letter. Check out my writing

at drleewarren .substack .com, drleewarren .substack .com.

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feeling better and being happier through the power of faith and neuroscience

smashing together via self brain -serving.

Dr. Lee Warren dot Substack dot com and if you need prayer go to the prayer

wall at W. Lee Warren MD dot com slash prayer.

The theme music for the show is Make Us One by Tommy Walker graciously provided

for free by the great folks over at Tommy Walker ministries dot org.

Check it out and consider supporting them. Tommy Walker ministries dot org.

Remember you can't change your life until you change your mind and the good

news is You can start today. I'm Dr. Lee Warren.

I'll talk to you soon. God bless you friend. Have a great day.

Music.